Updated: Oct 18
For Ed White, loving husband/father, researcher, advocate, Phd and friend to many, who sadly succumbed to the perils of Effexor withdrawal.
RIP 07/08/1964-13/10/2021 I'm so sorry mate...
Good Riddance Effexor, you rule me no more, you made me pay for, endless days and many more. I know why soldiers don't speak about war, and I know others have suffered, much much more.
Truly devastating, unspeakable things. Things no one should endure, from stopping "medicines". We don't speak of it too much, to those who don't know, it means digging too deep, in the hole we keep closed. In this terrible state, our eyes become truly open, now they're open we realise, there aren't many we can count on. The sleeping bear, he's still there, we don't want to wake him, it's best to avoid things most stimulating.
The kindness from strangers, it can make us strong, giving us the will, to hide what's going on, and find a way to carry on. Until the light starts to shine, it brings us back from that war, from that kindness of strangers, we start to grow claws. Like those buried deep, twisting our bones, sharp, like his who holds us there, but a different reason for. There's no use trying to fight, the one who can't be fought. For you my good friend, I wish I'd done more.
We slowly climb our way out, up those pitch blackened walls. Impossible to forget, the way it tore, through our brains and bodies, too often misdiagnosed, and never felt before. It burns everything, the hottest volcano in hell. I know I've never felt so unwell, but I'm ready for it now, if when I die I go to hell.
I know the pain you felt, because I felt it too, I managed to make it through, so I had faith in you. But I'm not you and you're not me, why this did I fail to see? Your kindness would've surrounded you, but I just couldn't see.
In times of pain, friends are meant to be there. Maybe you thought I didn't care? And I bet you were so scared. You learnt so much the first time round, now you were prepared. I know how strong his grip is though and should've shown more care. We get taken so far away where no one hears us pray, left there alone, to endure, until it slowly fades. No one can say how long it takes, to leave that darkest place, prisoners in our bodies and brains until it slowly fades. If only I'd messaged mid week, so I really knew, just how much that desperate place, was affecting you.
You said I was very strong, to've made it through, why wasn't that my cue, to reach out for you? When it rung I was still excited, to finally speak to you, but when it wasn't you, I knew. I prayed for a minute, for it to be untrue, but deep down inside, I knew.
I don't know how she kept it together as she broke it down, your husband, a father, was no longer around. "Oh fuck!! I'm so sorry", it's so hard from 37.5. We'd rather him here on something, than no longer alive.
Desperately searching to be exempt from an injection, I didn't think to ask the Cat Lady for an extension, of kindness for our struggling friend. You'd have found the strength, for your claws to grow, so in time you could show, yourself you could mend. Filled with fear from what they'd already said, the truth bullet had lodged, too deep in my head. For that outside help, I wish I had pled.
I know how it is for the red flower who lost her gem, we both now will never get to meet with our dear friends. We told each other about it, I think we both told them, but now our chance on earth is gone to meet with our dear friends.
It wasn't meant to be this way, I wished for us to meet one day, now you're in that blessed place, but it's so far away. I wish I'd found the right words to say, we may still meet one day. I'll think of you with your wings each day, like those angels sent to help from above, flying free from all that pain.
"I'll think of you with your wings each day, like those angels sent to help from above, flying free from all that pain."
It's often said there's an imbalance, but it's never been proven, I wonder if you would ever use these drugs on your own children? There'd be no surprise if you did, you believe in them so much, if this happened to your own kids would you still have that trust? This thought fills me with disgust, wait a minute while I go throw up.
I'll always protect my little light, from this incredible evil, an evil that even controls the minds of our medical people. An unstoppable need to keep you safe, from this most of evils, the one that's peddled by all of our, blinded medical people. Are they blind or is it something else? About this I often wonder, to me you're all just bitches of big pharma and all its dollars. And when the blind outweigh the unblind, but at least 20 to 1, most of us have no chance to welcome the light's return from the sun.
I'm "brainwashed" by this painful truth, a truth I hope never happens to you. If it ever did you'd know it's true and you'd be "brainwashed" too.
You've given me a purpose, that I never had before. Good Riddance Effexor, you rule me no more.
Writing by Angus Hibberd